where did 2019 go?
I always start my year out with good intentions.
I don’t set New Year’s resolutions, I know that life has a way of getting in the road of good intentions… just like it has on so many occasions in years past. But it does seem – and maybe it’s because I’m getting older? – that the year has a way of flying past, and by the time you get to the end of it, you can’t quite remember what happened at the start.
2019 has been another bit of a difficult year for us. Which makes these posts enjoyable to write. I’m taking a moment to slow down and think back over the past 12 months…
here’s what happened in my 2019
1. What made this year unforgettable?
My Boy has sat (and passed!) three of his HSC subjects. He’s had a particularly rough year with his health, so getting through three of his Senior subjects has been tough on all of us. Thank the Gods that there are only three more to go and then we move on to the next chapter in his journey… I know he’s so over school, and to be honest, so am I.
It’s been a huge end of year for the Husband as well. He’s one of many fighting the fires across New South Wales, and it’s been a battle on not only the fire fronts, but the mental, emotional and physical fronts as well. My personal mantra is “It will rain.” It’s just a question of when…
2. What did you enjoy this year?
Conversations with my Boy. We’ve spent so much time together alone due to Husband working that we’ve further developed our very casual, easy-going, nod-of-the-head-and-I-understand-what-you-said relationship. Lots of dinners on the floor as we re-watch yet another episode of Friends, shouting the lines at one another before the characters say them.
3. Who/what is the one thing/person you’re grateful for?
My friend, Mel. She’s listened, guided, laughed, cried, counselled, commisserated and told me off on occasion, and all done with love. Thanks for being my rock this year, lovely xo
4. What is your biggest win this year?
I do believe I have finally learned to rest. Admittedly, I started the year out diagnosed with chronic fatigue, and my body was giving no option but to rest. But since I’ve started to improve, I’ve started to take notice of the signs that I need to stop. Cup of tea at 10 a.m…. feet in the dirt – DONE! Afternoon nap at 3 p.m. because I don’t think I’ll make it to dinner time – DONE! In bed by 7 p.m. because I’m busted – DONE!
No more trying to push through, thinking that I’ll just get one more thing done and then I’ll rest. No time like the present!
5. What did you read/watch/listen to that made the most impact this year?
Listened to a lot of podcasts from Alexx at Low Tox Life. She provides real support for people who are ready to make better choices for the health and for the planet. She covers a lot of different topics, so there is always something interesting to listen to. I also read Being Mortal by Atul Gawande. A really honest discussion about the inescapable realities of aging and death, and a book I wish I had of read before my father-in-law passed away. It definitely makes you think in a different way about how modern medicine prolongs the inevitable, and how that might not necessarily be a good thing.
6. What did you worry about most and how did it turn out?
The Boy’s ankylosing spondylitis was definitely a major worry again this year. He sees a new rheumatologist soon, and we’re all looking forward to the appointment. It’s time to start the discussions around medication, because we’re not making the progress we would like with the approach we’ve taken so far. Plus he’s dead keen on doing a gap year with the Navy, so we need to get this AS’s butt kicked majorly before this can happen.
7. What was your biggest regret and why?
I still struggle with the concept of regret. Life is a lesson and if you’re smart, you learn from the mistakes – therefore no regrets.
8. What’s one thing that changed about yourself?
Apart from the finally learning the rest, I’ve started back with my yoga. It’s no longer a daily practice, although when I have the energy I do at least a 15-minute flow, because I LOVE how I feel after. Energised, grounded and ready to face whatever the day is going to throw at me with grace.
9. What surprised you most this year?
Tough one. And not one that I’m sure I can answer….
10. If you could go back to January 1, what suggestions would you give your past self?
It’s okay to forgive yourself.
So, that was 2019.
2020… W T F !
I remember being in high school and thinking that the 2020’s were soooooo far away. It’s only a day away now.
